Friday, March 26

Smashing Glass

I love seeing people realise they are stronger.

Its a great theme in movies, like in "Romancing the Stone" the leading lady Joan Wilder is asked to take a map to Colombia to save her sister. Even though she is scared of Colombia she goes, her love for her sister is stronger then her fear. Every step of the movie she grows stronger and bolder. Becoming more and more confident with every minute. By the end of the movie she wins the fight, when at the start she hid under a bus; Joan Wilder found her confidence.

Reality shows also like the 'face your fears' theme. In the Biggest Loser this week the final 4 were taken to New Zealand and had to face many adventure challenges. I was watching as Phoebe climbed that rope ladder to the top of the mast, shared her joy as she celebrated conquering her fear of heights. My heart skipped with hers as the headed down and Michelle the trainer informs her that she isn't climbing all the way down "since you're here, you're going to jump". All to well I identified the knee knocking feeling as you stare down at the water, knowing you are about to fling yourself out into the air and plunge into the depths. Your breathing changes, your heart starts pounding. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot when she jumped. Sharing her joy at breaking into a new confidence.

Twice I have been in a similar situation. Once have I succeeded.

Finding the confidence to take chances, doesn't come in a single moment. Theres not one moment where I look back and can say 'yup there is the point where i became self confident and assured.' It is a series of moments, some small, some big. Some we don't even realise matter. Every choice we make redefines who we are.
Though that first time I found myself atop a pole, harnessed and asked to jump out and grab a trapeze bar. I couldn't jump. [truth be told, with my height, if I'd just stretched I probably could have reached it] Yes fear gripped me, squeezed me tight blocking any confidence I did have. But it didn't completely get me. I didn't jump, but I didn't climb back down and give up either. I did what I could. It may have looked a little wussy, sitting down on the pole and letting the safety guys pull the ropes to lower me down.
In a roundabout way I succeeded. I didn't realise it then, but the people around me did. This happened at my school 'leadership camp', and at the final night, in our groups we did one of those "warm and fuzzy" exercises. Kind of like the Snap Cup from Legally Blonde. Each person has nice things written down about them from the others. I still have mine somewhere, it was written anonymously but there was one in particular that I still remember, it still warms my heart almost 6yrs on:
I like how you give everything your best go. 
Even when you're obviously scared you do your best at every activity.
I had the confidence to try and didn't realise it. So I guess I succeeded then too. Even if it doesn't look like a typical 'success'.

Roughly 5 yrs on, this time my cousin wants to go jetty jumping.
I've matured a heck of a lot since last time. I've learnt a lot about myself too.
It did take some persuading [full blown peer pressure ;)] to get me over the edge, even more to get me to jump. But I did it :D and I couldn't be prouder. I even got a photo. Sometimes all we need is a small success, sometimes we need a breakthrough.

Try and visual a glass ceiling over your life. Your potential reaches the sky -  it can not be contained by mere glass, it goes far beyond that ceiling. But our confidence issues, lies we believe; they make up that ceiling. And every time we try, every time we attempt, we put a crack in the glass.
All the milestones I've passed since that camp, finishing school, moving out of home, living on a ranch, jetty jumping in Coffs etc they've all been chipping away at the glass ceiling.

The thing about a glass ceiling, is that its transparent. Your vision, your potential isn't impaired by it. You can keep on going, chances are you've already cracked, smashed and broken through the glass so don't stop now. Keep going. Keep trying. Your potential is within your reach.

1 comment:

  1. Next step bungy jumping right? :D yes right! we will be harnessed together so your jumping pulls me along... I love your words missy!xo